Oh yes yes yes. Humor is almost everything. Believe it or not (I’m sure you have seen enough to believe it) my son was making me laugh at my daughter’s funeral. I know she would have wanted it that way. I’m not even joking. Fine writing, as always.
I agree. I think timing and audience matter a lot. With the right people, dark humor can feel like relief. With the wrong people, it can land very differently!
Denise, I'm glad you had that moment you were kind enough to share with us.
I definitely believe in humor as a survival mechanism, as well as generally a better lens through which to see life. That lesson was instilled in me by my late Dad who always believed in keeping things light whenever possible. He was a good balance to my late Mom who always focused on the doom and gloom.
While there are certainly times when it may not be appropriate, more often than not, I think finding the humor helps us more than hurts us I believe.
I love this. What a gift from your dad, learning that humor can help us during the hard times. I agree, there’s a time and place, but more often than not, humor can help. Thanks for reading Melanie!
“Sometimes the hard thing has to be hard first” really stood out to me. There’s a difference between avoiding a difficult moment and finding enough distance afterward to carry it a little more lightly.
I loved this, Denise 💛 Humour really can, somehow, make things seem manageable again, and connect us, even at the darkest of times. I also really resonate with the idea that sometimes it's too soon, and we have to pick our moment. I remember my husband trying to make a joke about my traumatic birth much too soon! But later, we did find humour in parts of it.
I get that. Dark humor can scare people. But sometimes it’s also the pressure valve that keeps us from exploding. Timing and audience matter, for sure.
This was so good! I also use humor to cope - and try not to do it in ways that would hurt others or be inappropriate in a difficult moment. It's almost an art, to figure out when to invite laughter together and when to hold it. Sometimes my daughter with chronic illness needs me to cry with her instead of laugh. And often the subject of our humor is our dog, the clown. Whatever it is, laughter brings us together.
Cute story and very true. Humor is the underrated hero of our lives that we must embrace. Or our lives would fall apart. Beautifully captured.
Thank you Smita for reading and your kind words.
I love the idea that humor is the underrated hero of our lives, Smita! That's amazing!
Oh yes yes yes. Humor is almost everything. Believe it or not (I’m sure you have seen enough to believe it) my son was making me laugh at my daughter’s funeral. I know she would have wanted it that way. I’m not even joking. Fine writing, as always.
Thank you for sharing this. Yes, I believe it. What a beautiful thing that your son knew how to bring her spirit into the room that way.
"using my calm mom voice, which is really just internal screaming with a smile." Hard relate! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Right? Using my calm mom voice could be listed under a job skill.
I loved that phrase too, Cooky! if only they could hear the screech underneath it.
I get this, but I get stuck on dark humor. I think it may scare people lol.
I agree. I think timing and audience matter a lot. With the right people, dark humor can feel like relief. With the wrong people, it can land very differently!
Denise, I'm glad you had that moment you were kind enough to share with us.
I definitely believe in humor as a survival mechanism, as well as generally a better lens through which to see life. That lesson was instilled in me by my late Dad who always believed in keeping things light whenever possible. He was a good balance to my late Mom who always focused on the doom and gloom.
While there are certainly times when it may not be appropriate, more often than not, I think finding the humor helps us more than hurts us I believe.
I love this. What a gift from your dad, learning that humor can help us during the hard times. I agree, there’s a time and place, but more often than not, humor can help. Thanks for reading Melanie!
“Sometimes the hard thing has to be hard first” really stood out to me. There’s a difference between avoiding a difficult moment and finding enough distance afterward to carry it a little more lightly.
Thank you Patrick for reading!
Another amazing article, Denise! I loved hearing about all three girls! Maddie sounds hilarious!
Thank you Jess!
I loved this, Denise 💛 Humour really can, somehow, make things seem manageable again, and connect us, even at the darkest of times. I also really resonate with the idea that sometimes it's too soon, and we have to pick our moment. I remember my husband trying to make a joke about my traumatic birth much too soon! But later, we did find humour in parts of it.
Thank you. Yes, timing is everything. I love how you described finding humor later, sometimes it only comes after we’ve survived the hard part.
Yes exactly 💛
I know you know this…but you have a beautiful family. Loved the story and I can see the humor from Maddie.❤️
Thanks Robert for your kind words!
I get that. Dark humor can scare people. But sometimes it’s also the pressure valve that keeps us from exploding. Timing and audience matter, for sure.
This was so good! I also use humor to cope - and try not to do it in ways that would hurt others or be inappropriate in a difficult moment. It's almost an art, to figure out when to invite laughter together and when to hold it. Sometimes my daughter with chronic illness needs me to cry with her instead of laugh. And often the subject of our humor is our dog, the clown. Whatever it is, laughter brings us together.